If you’re like me, you like baseball but don’t have the time (or geekiness) to start and maintain your own fantasy baseball team. Then again, if you’re like me, you have 12 stories to write by Monday morning, writer’s block and a headache akin to a vice on the noggin, so maybe fantasy baseball isn’t a priority right now.

I was thinking, though, of starting my own fantasy-fantasy baseball team. You know, the fantasy team that I WOULD have — if I had the time.

I was thinking of making my team out of former Mariners. Seriously. How bad could it go?

Let’s give it a try. Just imagine if these folks were still in the old blue and aqua (or whatever the M’s boast of these days):

Starting lineup:

RF — Shin-Soo Choo. Hitting .295 with 26 RBIs for Cleveland. Glad Seattle got rid of that talent…

2B — Ramon Santiago. He’s hitting .348 for Detroit and with 20 RBIs is closing in on his career best (29).

LF — Raul Ibanez. This Philly leads National League in home runs, runs, OPS, slugging and RBIs.

3B — Arod. Say what you will (please) but he’s a hall-of-famer. Currently hitting .258 with seven homers, 17 RBIs in just 18 games for New Yawk.

CF — Adam Jones. A revelation. He’s hitting .358 with 11 bombs, 35 RBIs and is in the top 10 in six offensive categories in the American League. Ugh.

DH — David Ortiz. Yeah he was a Mariner in the minors and is in a major slump now, but the dude is a 40-homer, 115-RBI machine. Give it time.

C — Jason Varitek. He’s not hitting that well (.238) but Boston is doing very well and he does have eight homers, 20 RBIs and plays the position very well.

1B — Carlos Guillen. Not his natural position, but this Tiger still has it at the plate when he’s not on the DL.

SS — Omar Vizquel. Yes, he’s still alive. Yes, he’s still in the majors … and hitting .340 for the Texas Rangers.


Bench:

Mike Cameron. He’s hitting .285 with nine dingers and 22 RBIs for the Brew crew.

Jeremy Reed. He’s hitting .304 for the Mets … on the bench.

Jose Guillen. Hitting .291 with 4 home runs, 22 RBIs and a .403 on-base-percentage. Nice.

Greg Dobbs. If he were more than a platoon player for Philly, he’d be a star. Hit .301 with nine home runs in very limited action for them last year.

Scott Podsednik. A bench player for the ChiSox, he’s hitting .296.

Randy Winn. Hitting .278 with 19 RBIs for the Giants. That’s like .320 and 30 RBIs anywhere else.

The pitchers:

RP — George Sherrill. He’s got a 2.75 ERA and 10 saves, better than any current Mariner.

RP — Ryan Franklin. A 1.42 ERA, 12 saves and 15 strikeouts for the Cardinals.

RP — Arthur Rhodes. In 20 games for the Reds, he has a 0.56 ERA. Dude.

RP — Rafael Soriano. A 1.37 ERA, five holds and four ssaves for Atlanta.

RP — Matt Thornton. Nine holds, 25 strikeouts, only nine walks and a 1.96 ERA for Chicago’s White Sox.

SP — Jeff Weaver. How did this guy learn to pitch again? He’s 2-1 with a 3.63 ERA for the Dodgers.

SP — Joel Pineiro. He’s 5-4 with a 3.52 ERA and good strikeout-to-walk ratio (22:7) for the Cardinals.

SP — Derek Lowe. 6-2 for the Braves and a nifty 3.45 ERA.

SP — Jamie Moyer. Just for old time’s sake.

SP — Randy Johnson. Just for old time’s sake times two.