Which over-hyped hoops team is going to host the ol’ Larry O’Brien NBA championship trophy in June? Who’s getting traded? Who’s getting fired? And does anyone in the state of Washington outside of Vancouver care?

Yeah, I admit it: I tried to like and follow the Trailblazers after the Sonics packed up and headed out east. Don’t get me wrong, I like Brandon Roy’s game. He may be one of my top five favorite things about the NBA, right up there with Nate Robinson, Chris Paul, the Toronto Raptors’ logo and the thought hat the Spurs might really be too old this year.

And yeah, it’s fun to watch Sergio and LaMarcus and the Bayless kid go nuts for 48 minutes each night, and to see if Greg Oden becomes one of the best first picks of any NBA draft … or Michael Olowokandi.

But I can’t. Sorry. It still hurts, seeing Kevin Durant go gonzo in a Thunder uniform, destroying the whole building in the Rookie/Soph challenge. Seeing Jeff Green actually develop. Seeing Russell Westbrook do his best AI imitation. Thinking, “this should be happening at Key Arena.”

Ugh.

Anyway, I hate to say it but the west is truly the Lakers’ to lose. Yes, losing Bynum for any time hurts but the team is so deep it really won’t matter. They’re 13.5 games up on Phoenix in the Pacific and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Go on, Kobe. Tear it up for another MVP.

San Antonio is once again quietly, methodically killing them softly, six-and-a-half games back in the conference standings. I see them picking up a vet to help down the stretch (like they need one, with Bowen, Finley, Kurt Thomas, Matt Bonner and Jacque Vaughn on the roster).

Portland is fourth in the conference and looks strong, but Oden doesn’t. He doesn’t scare me. Brandon Roy with the ball and any time on the clock does. I expect they win a first round playoff series but no more.

Houston: eh. Who trusts Tracy McGrady’s knees any more? Yao’s feet? Shane Battier’s hairdresser? I want to like Houston, but they are, as always, one and done in the playoffs.
 
New Orleans is truly interesting. Do they get Chris Paul back for good after the break? Or is he fighting injury the rest of the way? He sure looked good at the All-Star game. I’m not sold David West isn’t shopping himself, though. The way things are now, New Orleans gets San Antonio in the second round. That’s one of the few Spurs series I’d want to watch.

The rest of the west? It’s a three-way battle for two spots. The Mavs are increasingly implosive. They’re not a legit threat anymore to go deep, but Donnie Dirko and the Kidd can do some damage. I just don’t know if they have the legs to even get into the playoffs. If they do, they likely get LA or the Spurs. In other words, toast.

Utah is in the eight-hole and they’re in an even worse predicament. I can’t imagine Carlos Boozer coming back to what he once was and Deron Williams can only do so much, even though he’s a freak and seems to will that team to win every other night. (P.S. did you know Brevin Knight is still in the league? Just sayin’.)

And Phoenix is hanging on, like mud on the bottom of someone’s shoes. I’m floored that a team with Steve Nash, Shaq-daddy, Amare, Grant Hill and something other than chicken broth other two spot is not in the top eight in a conference… blows my mind.

That leaves the quietest No. 3 team I’ve ever heard of at the break: Denver. Seriously? Yeah, ‘Melo, we get it. You’re good. But I just didn’t see Chancy Billups being so mad at the Pistons that he would decide to beat down the Western Conference like Bruce Willis on those lame terrorists in the first Diehard, or that Nene Hilario would become my favorite player taller than 6-10 and lead the league in FG%? I still don’t think they do much around playoff time, but with Chris Anderson on the roster … look out.

In the east, um, I just don’t care other than hoping that LeBron goes nuts and scores 60 in each playoff game … and every team the Cavs plays takes them the distance. I want the shot of King James getting IVs before, during and after each game, wondering if he could really play for the Cleveland Browns AND the Cavs next year. With Mo Williams and a healthy (cross your fingers) Zydrunas Ilgauskas, that team looks scary.

Hate to say it, but Boston looks old. Then again, Garnett can get that team to the conference finals just by his stare. It’s them and the Cavs in the east finals.

Beyond that, is anyone else is the east a team to be feared? Orlando has Dwight Howard and the incredible shrinking man (Rashard Lewis), but Jameer Nelson’s injury is too tough to get over. Detroit and AI may get one playoff win but are in disarray (Rip Hamilton coming off the bench? Please!) Atlanta — this is the fourth-best team in a conference? — has great athletic talent but is way too young and way too erratic to put it all together. Philly without Elton Brand isn’t going anywhere and Milwaukee, a team whom I love with Luke Ridnour at point, the Bogut kid in the middle and Ramon “”The Bullfighter” Sessions off the bench, isn’t anywhere near a contender.

Notice I didn’t mention the dark horse. Yes, Dwyane (don’t spell my name the normal way, dude) Wade and the Miami Heat are fifth in the conference, primed for a playoff series with Atlanta. Pick up a win and show the youngsters how they do it, then show the aging Celts the door in round two and take their chances in the conference finals. Viola! Heat vs. Lakers in the finals. Dwyane versus Kobe. Beautiful.

Of course, the last time I picked a Wade team to get to the finals it was just before the Final Four in 2003 when I chose Wade’s Marquette team and Texas to go on to the championship game. Instead, Kansas and Syracuse made the biggest dance.

If Wade and Michael Beasley are sitting come June, I just hope we get a good NBA final series. That means no more boring teams

Detroit and San Antonio, I’m looking at you.

P.S. ---

I was looking through old NBA draft lists the other day (I know, I need a life) and came across this: www.basketball-reference.com/draft/NBA_1998.html. I was looking at second-round steals and first-round lemons. A thought: anyone else think it a little weird that the Sonics wound up with the first five picks of the second round in this draft (Ansu Sesay, Ruben Patterson, Rashard Lewis, Jelani McCoy, Shammond Williams) at one time or another? Weird.