Sequim Gazette Editorial and Letters to the Editor

Sexual harassment. It's an filthy accusation.

Some folks might dismiss it as "boys will be boys."

For others, it might not rise beyond the level of immature behavior or the sort of thing that should stay in the locker room and that shouldn't enter the workplace. Or maybe they think it comes with the territory for guys who wear hardhats but not those who wear neckties.

It's hard to define. A shoulder-squeeze hug, for instance, might be welcome to one person but a violation of another person's space. An off-color joke might make one person laugh, make another roll her eyes but offend a third person deeply.

The determination, I think, is frequency and longevity. When it's clear that a touch is unwelcome, a joke is offensive or a behavior is unacceptable, it ought to stop.

Then and there. Over and out. Period.

I won't claim any special sensitivity to women's feelings, but I've been married 41 years and I think my wife has taught me well.

I also was an instructor for nine years in a technical/vocational school where the great majority of students were young women - many of whom were current or former victims of domestic abuse.

What I came to believe was that sexual harassment, domestic violence and rape all came, if not from the same bolt of cloth, from shearing the same sheep.

The difference was in how tightly the threads of animosity were woven.

All three gender-driven misbehaviors stem from a deep, systemic antipathy toward the opposite sex, and it's an overwhelmingly male dysfunction.

A harasser needs nothing but verbal attacks. Words hurt, and thereby can hang harassment.

I haven't connected the dots between this discussion and Vernon Stoner's candidacy for Sequim city manager.

However, according to Shellyne Grisham, Stoner "made inappropriate sexual comments and created a hostile work environment at the Office of the Insurance Commissioner.

"I was his assistant," she wrote in an e-mail about her contention, "but I was too afraid to turn him in. After six months another employee did."

Not to disbelieve Ms. Grisham, but that's her side of the story. And in Stoner's defense, an accusation isn't proof, neither in a court of law nor in the court of public opinion. He has his side (see story on Page A-1.)

It's sufficient, though, to stop the Sequim City Council dead in its tracks with Mr. Stoner's hiring until councilors can satisfy themselves - and the voters who chose them to conduct due diligence in matters like these - that Stoner is no woman-hater.

On Monday night, councilors rose to this difficult challenge and - after hearing Stoner say he had sexually harassed no one - asked for a deeper investigation into his public service management career and those of the other three top contenders for the post.

They demanded that Tom Waldron, the head of the consulting firm that vetted the applicants, deliver the report himself.

According to interim city manager and city attorney Craig Ritchie, Waldron said he had conducted all the customary checks into the candidates' histories, verifying education, employment and references.

That he didn't check into lawsuits and employee complaints probably shows more naiveté than carelessness.

All in all, Sequim deserves a city manager who won't always be shadowed by an accusation such as Grisham's.

Jim Casey is the editor of the Sequim Gazette. Reach him at jcasey@sequimgazette.com.