Sequim Gazette Editorial and Letters to the Editor

Not long ago, I was driving across one of Port Angeles' new Eighth Street bridges when I observed a woman standing in a sort of sidewalk layby, manically waving a sign urging voters to "Save the Pool!"

It and a mushroom crop of yard signs all over town urge residents of the Port Angeles School District to create a new taxing agency that would take over operation of the city's decrepit William Shore Memorial Pool.

Ballots on the proposal go into the mail today.

I won't try to settle the arguments for and against public support for a swimming facility - or baseball diamonds, soccer fields, tennis courts, bowling greens, blackjack tables or Ouija boards - but the woman's message raised a quirky question:

What if, with judicious application of some white paint, the P was changed to F and converted her exhortation to "Save the Fool!"

That sent me off on what a friend has dubbed an "eclectic free association" of thoughts, which ended with the conclusion that this was a fine idea.

At its heart is the conventional verity that every village must have its idiot and, if Port Angeles should have an official halfwit, Sequim must do no less.

The fool would play a multitude of roles, not the least of them being Who's to Blame for This Mess/Roundabout/Lousy Weather/City Council/Typographical Error.

Much of public discourse centers on searching for someone to accuse for whatever displeases people at the moment.

Under my plan when the public -- Aginners in the forefront - wants to pin culpability on someone, our Designated Twitter would step up.

"But only a fool would do that!" you say.

My point exactly.

Think of the arguments, city councilors' harangues, political spats and marital quarrels the fool could obviate.

In the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, filial piety would reign and sweet dew would fall. Or something like that.

It shouldn't be hard to nominate candidates. I'll wager that, even as you read this, you've picked a foolish favorite you'd choose for the job.

We can cull the field by employing a couple of conventional wisdoms.

The official fool no doubt will be advanced in age because "there's no fool like an old fool."

He or she also will be a celebrity even before he or she is selected for "fools' names and fools' faces always appear in public places."

Fools are justly famous in our culture.

William Shakespeare devoted scores of poetic lines to fools, the best-known being "Lord, what fools these mortals be" from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" to entire characters like Touchstone of "As You Like It" and Yorick, arguably the most famous skull in English literature, from "Hamlet."

Besides the Bard, humorist Josh Billings said, "Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit."

Closer to our current economic travail, perhaps, is this quote from Henry Ford:

"There are two fools in this world. One is the millionaire who thinks that by hoarding money he can somehow accumulate real power, and the other is the penniless reformer who thinks that if only he can take the money from one class and give it to another, all the world's ills will be cured."

Robert Frost made this pithy observation:

"A mother takes 20 years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in 20 minutes."

For those of you who've ever met an educated idiot, this from an American editor and writer:

"Colleges don't make fools, they only develop them."

Finally, wise advice in a Jewish proverb:

"Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back or a fool from any side."

The only possible glitch in choosing an official fool is the selection process, for I'm sure the Old Guard, New Guard, rear guard, Right Guard and mud guard couldn't come to a consensus.

It would be impossible to develop a fail-safe method of settling on Sequim's municipal ninny owing to the fact that, as a corollary to Murphy's Law states, "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."

We'll have to wait for someone to volunteer.

Jim Casey is the editor of the Sequim Gazette. You can reach him at jcasey@sequimgazette.com.